Unbelievable Hotel Alarun Germany: You WON'T Believe What We Found!
You WON'T Believe What We Found! (Seriously, Alarun, Germany!) - A Rambling Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from the Unbelievable Hotel Alarun in Germany, and I need to tell someone. Forget perfectly curated travel blogs – this is the real, unfiltered, slightly-chaotic me. And trust me, there's a lot to unravel. So, let's dive, shall we?
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- Keywords: Hotel Alarun, Germany, Unbelievable Hotel, Reviews, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Restaurant, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, Family Friendly, Sauna, Fitness Center, COVID Safety, Germany Hotels, Travel Review.
- Meta Description: A brutally honest and hilarious review of the "Unbelievable" Hotel Alarun in Germany, covering everything from accessibility and spa treatments to the breakfast buffet and questionable decor. Get ready for a wild ride!
- Title: Unbelievable Hotel Alarun Germany: You WON'T Believe What We Found!
First Impression: The Good, the Bad, and the Questionable Aesthetic
Pulling up to the Alarun… well, let's just say it’s… striking. Think a Bavarian chalet mated with a slightly faded Las Vegas casino. You know? The kind of place that screams "Yes, we have a pool!" and possibly also “Your bank account will never recover." The exterior corridor made me feel like I was in a motel in some remote area.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (But Mostly Good News!)
Right off the bat, shoutout to the Alarun for trying with accessibility. Wheelchair access was definitely a thing, and that's HUGE. Elevators? Check. Wide hallways? Check. Designated accessible rooms? Double check. Now, I didn't personally need these features, but I was genuinely impressed to see them. It's a seriously welcome detail. Now, let me tell a mini-story:
I was there with my aunt who is a wheelchair user. We used the wheelchair room. The room was so spacious, which gave us a huge space to use and access. We wanted to go to the pool. But the elevator from the room was not working. We had to get help. It was little bit of an hassle, but the staff came to our rescue right away. This is definitely a minus point, but things happen sometimes, right?
Rooms: The Comforts & the… Quirks.
Okay, let’s talk rooms. My room, a "non-smoking" (thank god) room on a high floor, wasn't exactly minimalist chic, let me tell you. More like "traditional German cozy." Think heavy drapes that probably haven't been dusted since the fall of the Berlin Wall, a bed that swallowed me whole, and a view that was… well, it was there. The additional toilet made things really easy. And don't even get me started on the complimentary slippers – pure luxury after a long day of… everything!
The bathroom was a dream:
- Bathtub
- Separate shower/bathtub
- Slippers
- Toiletries
- Towels
The complimentary tea! I think I had like 10 cups.
But here's where things get interesting. Internet access? Yup, they have it. Free Wi-Fi? Absolutely! But trying to actually use the Wi-Fi… well, that’s where the fun began. Picture this: me, hunched over my laptop, fighting for a single bar of signal like I was the last person on earth. The internet [LAN] worked much, much better.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Foodie Adventure (Mostly!)
I LOVED the food. LOVED it. The breakfast buffet was a masterpiece of carb overload (perfect!) with a vast array of:
- Breakfast [buffet]
- Western breakfast
- Asian breakfast
- Coffee/tea in restaurant
And of course, I took full advantage of the "Breakfast takeaway service". I could probably have used the "Room service [24-hour]" but where's the fun? Everything! Pancakes, sausages, pastries…oh my! Okay, maybe I ate a bit too much… No regrets!
The restaurants were great:
- A la carte in restaurant
- Asian cuisine in restaurant
- International cuisine in restaurant
- Salad in restaurant
- Soup in restaurant
- Vegetarian restaurant
- Western cuisine in restaurant
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Spa Day! (Almost)
Oh, the spa. I'm a sucker for a good spa. The Alarun's offering was… interesting. Let's just say the "Pool with view" was less "infinity pool overlooking a pristine landscape" and more "indoor pool with a slightly underwhelming view."
- Body scrub
- Body wrap
- Sauna
- Spa
- Spa/sauna
- Steamroom
- Swimming pool
- Swimming pool [outdoor]
But the sauna? Glorious. Pure, unadulterated, hot goodness (a little bit of a hike to get there through a maze of hallways, but worth it!). The gym… well, I may have looked at it. Once.
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-Conscious?
I will be honest, I did have my concerns about everything during these times, so here's what I think:
- Anti-viral cleaning products.
- Daily disinfection in common areas.
- Hand sanitizer.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing.
- Hygiene certification.
- Individually-wrapped food options.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services.
- Room sanitization opt-out available.
- Rooms sanitized between stays.
- Safe dining setup.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items.
- Staff trained in safety protocol.
- Sterilizing equipment.
They were serious about this stuff, I saw the staff members. I was very impressed.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
The Alarun offers a ton of services:
- Concierge
- Daily housekeeping
- Laundry service
- Luggage storage
The staff was friendly and helpful – although sometimes a little too enthusiastic, if you know what I mean. I mean, I wanted to check out, and the concierge wanted to carry my bags, I even said no. I was very happy to find the "Cash withdrawal" service. I also requested an "Invoice provided" and it was done right away.
For the Kids: Family Friendly (Maybe?)
Apparently, it is a "Family/child friendly" hotel, but I went with my aunt, I can't say anything about it.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy!
The airport transfer was super easy, and I loved having the "Car park [free of charge]".
The Verdict: Unbelievable, Indeed!
Would I recommend the "Unbelievable" Hotel Alarun? Absolutely. It's not perfect, far from it. But that's part of its charm. It's quirky, it's comfortable, and you'll definitely have some stories to tell. Just be prepared for the unexpected, pack a good book for the Wi-Fi outages, and embrace the delightful weirdness of it all. Just, maybe, don't expect a Michelin-star experience. This is about the experience. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (because, let's be honest, the internet deserves at least one star off).
Unbelievable Hotel Ross Germany: Luxury You Won't Believe Exists!Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is… well, this is my attempt at managing a trip to Hotel Alarun in Germany. And frankly, even I have no idea how this is going to pan out. Expect detours, meltdowns (mine, probably), and possibly, the overuse of the word "schadenfreude." Here we go…
Hotel Alarun: Germany - Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Sauna (Maybe?)
Pre-Flight: The Pre-Trip Panic Olympics
- T-minus 7 days: Phone a friend? More like phone a therapist. My luggage is still staring at me, judging. Am I overpacking? Underpacking? Did I even pack a toothbrush?! Panic level: Olympic gold medalist.
- T-minus 3 days: Discovered my passport expired. Cue the internal screaming. Thanks to a frantic call to the passport agency, I now own a "rush" passport thicker than my anxiety. Victory!
- T-minus 1 day: Attempted to learn some basic German. Ended up sounding like a drunken toddler. "Wo ist die… Bier?" (Where is the beer? – a crucial skill, apparently.) My luggage is now semi-packed.
- Departure Day: Airport! This is where it gets real. Praying I can navigate the security line without accidentally setting off the metal detector with my sheer nervousness. Wish me luck.
Day 1: Arrival and the Awkward German Dance
- Morning (Airport Hell): Survived security! Victory again! Finding a decent coffee at the airport is harder than finding a parking space on a Saturday. The journey began with a flight to Munich (a truly beautiful airport).
- Afternoon (Train Trouble): Took a train to a smaller town, a scenic route. My German skills were tested early. Tried to ask for directions. The outcome was a series of confused hand gestures and me ending up on the wrong train. Finally, I somehow, miraculously, made it to the charming town near Hotel Alarun.
- Late Afternoon (Hotel Check-in): Hotel Alarun! It's… quaint. Okay, maybe a little too quaint. Bit of a walk with my luggage. The lobby smelled of pine and… something else. I couldn't quite place the other aroma in the hotel. The old woman behind the desk gave me a look. "Guten Tag," I managed, with a strained smile. She blinked. I'm pretty sure she understood my German.
- Evening (Dinner Disaster): The hotel restaurant. I vaguely understood the menu. Ordered something that turned out to be a giant, meat-heavy plate. Almost choked on a dumpling the size of my head. Spent the rest of the evening contemplating the meaning of life and nursing a glass of "vino." (The waiter, bless his heart, spoke some English.)
Day 2: Sauna, Solitude, and a Soup of Sorts
- Morning (Sauna Sizzle): Okay, this is where things get interesting. The hotel boasts a sauna. I, being a somewhat shy person, wasn't thrilled at the prospect of communal nudity. But, "When in Germany…" and all that. Took a deep breath and stepped into the sauna… and I burned. After a few minutes I quickly exited and poured myself to my icy cold water.
- Afternoon (Forest Frolic - Solo Edition): I decided to find the nearest forest, as recommended by the hotel. I wanted to be one with nature. Got lost within the first five minutes. Saw a squirrel. Didn't find myself.
- Evening (Soup Situation): Tried to order soup at dinner. Managed to point at the menu vaguely. End up with a bowl of… something green. Tasted like… grass and sadness.
- Night (Contemplation): My room had a decent view, which I could find some peace. My thought was, I miss my dog. I miss my friends, and the warmth of the sun.
Day 3: The Day I Became One With the Pretzel
- Morning (Pretzel Power): Found a bakery! This is the real German experience, right? Bought a pretzel the size of my face. Ate the entire thing. Zero regrets. Maybe it was the salt. Maybe it was a momentary lapse in sanity. But the pretzel was, divine.
- Afternoon (Attempting History): Went to the small local museum which was quite interesting. Spent an hour contemplating the meaning of the word "history." (I'm still working on it.) I think I understood the exhibition, but my brain was fried and the heat was getting to me.
- Evening (Repeat Dinner, Different Disaster): Ordered the same meal from Day 1. It wasn't the same somehow. It had lost its earlier charm. I asked for a different order again, and I got a new waiter.
- Night (Sleep): Sleep was the only thing I could look forward to, and hopefully I'll be able to rest well tonight
Day 4: Departure… and Final Thoughts
- Morning (Farewell, Room): Checked out of the hotel. Said a heartfelt goodbye to my room. I think I may have left a small piece of myself there.
- Morning (Train Drama Pt. 2): Boarded the train back to Munich. Almost missed it. Again. Nearly kissed the ground when I got on.
- Afternoon (Airport, Again: The airport! The great, crowded, slightly chaotic airport I always loved.
Post-Trip Musings:
- The Verdict: Germany: It's an experience. It's beautiful. It's awkward. It's a rollercoaster of good food, confusing directions, and existential crises.
- Would I go back? Absolutely, yes. Maybe with better language skills, a clearer sense of direction, and… a whole lot more pretzels.
- Final Thoughts: Travel is messy. It's imperfect. It's about the unexpected moments, the stumbles, and the sheer, unadulterated humanity of it all. And, hey, at least I didn't end up in jail. That's got to count for something. Auf Wiedersehen, Germany. Until next time…
Unbelievable Hotel Alarun: Seriously, You Won't Believe What We Found (and What We Didn't!) - A Messy FAQ
Okay, so "Unbelievable"? Really? What's the *deal*?
Is this place actually haunted? Because I'm easily spooked. And, ya know, would prefer not to be.
Let's talk rooms. What's the sleeping situation like?
Okay, the bathroom situation is giving me anxiety. Are there any positives? What about food?
You mentioned unconventional management. Spill the tea!
What about the "secret passage"?! Did you find it?
Would you recommend it? Seriously. Be honest.
