Patong Paradise: Beachfront 2-Pool Apartment!
Patong Paradise: Beachfront 2-Pool Apartment! - My Unfiltered Phuket Diary (SEO-ified, of Course!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from Patong Paradise: Beachfront 2-Pool Apartment!, and my liver is still recovering. And trust me, I'm not just saying that because of the free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (though that was a huge win). This review is gonna be less 'professional travel critic' and more 'slightly sunburnt, still-giddy human who needs to share this experience.' So, let's do this!
First Impressions (and First Panics):
Finding the place was a bit…of an adventure. (Honestly, getting around in Patong is a whole other story. Thank goodness for the Airport Transfer because after a 20-hour flight, I wasn't exactly in peak "negotiate a taxi price" mode. And a free Car Park [on-site] is a HUGE bonus! No circling the block for parking!) The exterior corridor gave it a cool, beach-vibe charm. The 24-hour Front Desk? Lifesaver. That first night, jet lag hit me like a rogue wave, and I stumbled in, bleary-eyed, needing to know WHERE THE COFFEE WAS.
The Apartment Itself - My Personal Coconut Paradise
Alright, the apartment! Air conditioning? Mandatory. Air conditioning in public area? Also mandatory. Non-smoking rooms? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I hate that smoky smell! Thank the heavens, it's non-smoking because, even though they have a designated smoking area outside (for the rebels), I'm not about that life. The Additional toilet was a godsend, too. And the high floor, oh baby! The view from the terrace… speechless. Honestly, I felt like a Bond villain surveying my kingdom. Except my kingdom was a seating area, a sofa, a refrigerator stocked with Chang beer, and the coffee/tea maker (praise be!). The in-room safe box gave me peace of mind for my passport and (very) precious jewelry. And even though I've always been a die-hard fan of hot showers, having both a separate shower/bathtub and a bathtub to choose from felt incredibly luxurious. The blackout curtains helped me fight off jet lag like a champ (until the coffee kicked in!).
The Double Pool Dream (and a Tiny Drama):
Two pools! TWO! One was right outside my door! I felt like a mermaid princess. I spent a considerable portion of my trip gracefully flopping (or, you know, clumsily jumping) in and out. The Pool with view was perfect for those sunset cocktails at the Poolside bar. But here’s a confession: I totally misjudged my sun protection on the first day. I was so busy being glamorous by the swimming pool [outdoor] that I forgot the sunscreen (I am SO. White!). I ended up resembling a cooked lobster and the bathrobes and slippers became my best friends. Lesson learned: heed my warning, people!
Food Glorious Food (and Mild Dietary Regret):
Where do I even begin with the food? Okay, let's start with something small, but important: the Complimentary tea because morning tea is where my day begins. There are tons of restaurants! Asian cuisine in restaurant? Yes, please, especially the Pad Thai. International cuisine in restaurant? Perfect for satisfying those cravings. Western cuisine in restaurant? Totally valid when you are missing home, but really, what were you doing in Thailand if you don't eat the Asian cuisine? There was a Breakfast [buffet] which was AMAZING! I ate so much! Everything from the breakfast service of Asian breakfast and Western breakfast was perfect. A Happy hour at the bar was a daily ritual. The Desserts in restaurant were dangerous. I mean, Desserts in restaurant were really dangerous. And, if you're feeling particularly indulgent, there's Room service [24-hour] – perfect for those late-night cravings. Did I mention the Coffee/tea in restaurant? Yes, I think I did. Sorry, I'm still a little caffeine-addled. And those bottle of water were really vital to me because of all the walking I do. I forgot to mention a little thing called the Snack bar which was so, so convenient. I am NOT a fan of making my own lunch, but the A la carte in restaurant option was exactly what I needed. Finally, the Salad in restaurant felt like a beacon of salvation after a particularly delicious (and slightly too large) order of fried noodles.
The Spa (and My Moment of Enlightenment):
I am not a spa person. I’m more of a “sweat it out in the gym” kind of person. But… I gave in. And thank GOD I did. The Spa/sauna was calling my name, so off I went! They had a Body scrub, a Body wrap, and a foot bath… I was transformed. All the travel stress melted away into a puddle of pure bliss! I emerged feeling lighter, brighter, and ready to take on the world – or at least, the next plate of mango sticky rice. The Sauna was an extra special treat, too. (Note: If you're like me and haven't experienced a sauna before, remember to drink water. Trust me on this.)
Cleanliness, Safety, and the Little Things (Like, Really Little Things):
Okay, let’s talk serious stuff. Cleanliness and safety were clearly a top priority. I’m not always the tidiest traveler, but I appreciate a clean room. The Daily housekeeping staff were amazing! The Daily disinfection in common areas and the fact that they use Anti-viral cleaning products gave me real peace of mind, especially while still being somewhat concerned about post-Covid travel. There was an Express check-in/out service which was such a nice touch. The fact that they have First aid kit, a Doctor/nurse on call, and Security [24-hour]? Huge comfort. And the little things – the hand sanitizer stations everywhere, sterilizing equipment… it all added up to a feeling of being genuinely cared for. I was so happy to find the Safe dining setup. They also used Individually-wrapped food options and the Profession-grade sanitizing services. I am very cautious about cleanliness. They also do Room sanitization opt-out available which is perfect. This made this trip extra comforting for someone with concerns around safety.
The "Things to Do" and the "Ways to Relax" (aka, the Stuff I Actually Did):
Okay, so while I didn't hit the Fitness center (judge me not!), I did spend a lot of time relaxing. The Massage was heavenly. The Steamroom was a cool experience. The Swimming pool (under the stars!) was pure magic. As for "things to do"? Well, exploring Patong Beach was a blast. There are tons of stores (thankfully, there’s a convenience store on site for those emergency sunscreen/chocolate runs!). Family Friendly (or, My Lack of Experience):
Okay, so I didn't personally experience the Babysitting service, Kids facilities, or Kids meal. I’m not exactly a parent. But the whole vibe of the place felt welcoming to families. The Family/child friendly label felt completely justified!
Services and Cool Perks (Because Why Not?):
Let me tell you, there’s a ton! There is luggage storage and dry cleaning. They have Concierge services. And if you are interested in hosting Meetings or Seminars the Meeting/banquet facilities are sure to come in handy. There are Invoice provided, Ironing service, and Laundry service. I am so glad they had a safe deposit box and Cash withdrawal available. The Currency exchange was super helpful. They also had the Elevator, which was important to me. If you enjoy taking pictures or need some information, you can make use of the Copy/fax in business center.
The Minor Annoyances & Quirks:
Okay, here’s the dish, the minor annoyances (because, let's be real, no place is perfect): The Wi-Fi sometimes hiccupped a little (but Wi-Fi [free] is Wi-Fi to me!). But the good outweighed the so so.
The Verdict: Book It! (Seriously, Do It Now!)
Look, Patong Paradise isn't perfect. But it's damn close. It's got the location, the amenities, the food, and the vibe. It feels like a real slice of paradise without the pretension. Forget the other options because you'll have to go with this one, especially if you are looking for the perfect Couple's room. It made my trip!
My Unfiltered Recommendation:
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your average, sterile travel itinerary. This is… my itinerary. And let's be honest, it'll probably be a glorious, slightly chaotic mess. We're talking Patong, two pools, beach within stumbling distance Thailand. Get ready for the ride.
Day 1: Arrival, Overwhelm, and That Damn Pool (Probably)
- Morning (ish): Plane lands. I'm already imagining myself on the beach, sipping something neon-colored. Reality check: immigration, luggage carousel hell, sweating buckets. Already regretting that oversized backpack. Found my transfer, miracle of miracles. Driver, looking less than thrilled to be hauling my luggage, probably judging my questionable clothing choices (shorts and a slightly-too-patterned shirt).
- Mid-morning: Check into the apartment. Apartment in the heart of Patong! Two pools! Beach walkin distance! Wait… is that a cockroach? (Cue internal scream. Deep breaths. It's fine, it's Thailand.) The view from the balcony… oh my god. Okay, that's why I came.
- Lunch: Found a tiny, hole-in-the-wall place. Pad Thai. The best Pad Thai I've ever had. Seriously. The owner, a woman with a smile that could melt glaciers, just knew what I needed. I immediately feel, 50% more human.
- Afternoon: Pool time! The first pool (the one with the swim-up bar, naturally) is a swirling vortex of tanned bodies and questionable decisions. The second, quieter pool is a siren song of relaxation. I'm already feeling the sun on my skin and the blissfully brain-melting nothingness of vacation. The best thing: there were no screaming children nearby. (Success!)
- Evening: Stroll to the beach. Okay, "stroll" might be generous. It's more of a humid, slightly-disoriented shuffle through a sea of tuk-tuks, hawkers, and the general glorious chaos of Patong. I'm overwhelmed, but also buzzing with energy. Hit up a restaurant. The first of many Chang beers. Seafood. More Chang beers. Stared at the ocean in awe.
Day 2: Beach Day (And Potential Disaster)
- Morning: Wake up. Sunscreen. Beach. Repeat. Found a spot under an umbrella. Paradise. Briefly considered never going back to reality. The ocean is warm, the sand is soft, and I am officially a beach bum.
- Lunch: Decided to be adventurous. Got a mango sticky rice from a street vendor. It was… divine. Sticky, sweet, and a total sugar rush. Almost died from happiness.
- Afternoon: Attempted to snorkel. I’m more of a ‘panic in the deep’ type of traveler. Swallowed a lot of seawater. Saw some fish. Mostly just panicked. Realized I probably should have taken that swimming class.
- Evening: Dinner at a restaurant on the beach. Seriously, how does one not love the sunset while eating delicious food? Got a weird sunburn, but whatever.
- Late Night: Patong Bangla Road! The beating heart of the nightlife. Walked down the road. This road is so bright and loud, it's like a movie. I went to bed. I have no shame.
Day 3: Temple Time (And a Dose of Culture)
- Morning: Finally, a decent start to the day. Headed to a temple. Wat Chalong. It's breathtaking, all gold and intricate carvings. I felt a weird sense of calmness, even though the heat was intense. Learned a little bit about Buddhism. (I still don't fully understand it, but hey, I'm trying!)
- Lunch: Found a cute cafe near the temple. Delicious Thai iced coffee. Also, pastries! A nice change of pace from the usual Pad Thai.
- Afternoon: Wandered around the shops. Found an elephant print scarf that I had to have. Haggling is a sport. I’m not sure if I won, but I got the scarf.
- Evening: Got a Thai massage on the beach. I’m a puddle of relaxed. Probably the best hour of my life. The masseuse was so strong! My muscles were like noodles.
- Late Night: The apartment and the pool. I'm exhausted from the sun, temples, and massages.
Day 4: Island Hopping (Possibly with Seasickness)
- Morning: Boat trip to Phi Phi Islands! (Pray for smooth seas). The boat trip was amazing. The water is crystal clear. Snorkeled, saw coral, and a bunch of colorful fish. Still can't get over how blue the water is.
- Lunch: Beachside restaurant. More seafood. More amazing food.
- Afternoon: Maya bay. The beach from "The Beach" (very touristy but still beautiful). I was in awe, the sun was warm, and the water was crystal clear.
- Evening: Late night. It was a full day, so a quiet evening was appreciated
Day 5: Last Day
- Morning: One last breakfast. I'll miss this.
- Afternoon: Check out and head to the airport. I'm sad to leave, but I also can't wait to sleep in my bed.
- Evening: In transit. Reflecting on the trip and vowing to go back.
Random Ramblings, Observations, and Utterly Honest Thoughts:
- The Heat: It's intense. Like, "I'm melting" intense. But it's also part of the charm. You sweat, you embrace it. You get used to it. Mostly.
- The Food: Delicious. Just, wow. I'm going to gain a ton of weight. But it will be worth it.
- The People: Everyone is incredibly friendly. They are welcoming, kind, and happy.
- The Regrets: Wish I would have tried more water sports. Maybe next time.
- The Emotional Rollercoaster: One minute I'm ecstatic, the next I'm overwhelmed and slightly terrified. But I'd take that over boredom any day.
- My Overall Feeling: It was amazing, and I can't wait to go back.
Patong Paradise: Beachfront 2-Pool Apartment - FAQs (The REAL Deal!)
Okay, okay, let's talk Patong Paradise. Is it REALLY paradise?
Look, before you get all "sunshine and rainbows," let me be brutally honest. It's... complicated. The marketing photos? Stunning. The reality? Well, it's like dating someone and discovering they're *much* better looking in their profile pic. Patong itself is a whirlwind – a glorious, chaotic, sometimes overwhelming whirlwind.
Now, the apartment itself? The views? Yeah, they're pretty damn close to paradise. Waking up to that ocean… worth it. The two pools? Absolute game-changers. More on that later (because I have OPINIONS).
Seriously, are those pools actually swim-up-to-the-bar kind of pools?
Alright, this is a biggie. One pool is *definitely* more chill – perfect for a morning float with your coffee (bliss!). The other… well, *that’s* the party pool. And yes, there *is* a swim-up bar. *And* a decent DJ. Now, full disclosure: I might have spent a *significant* portion of my vacation horizontally at that bar. Let’s just say I became intimately acquainted with their cocktail menu. And let’s also say… I have flashbacks. Good ones (mostly!).
Tell me about the location – is it right in the middle of all the craziness?
Yep, you're in the thick of it. Which is both a blessing and a curse. The upside? Everything is walkable (mostly! I took a few tuk-tuk adventures at 3 AM, but that's neither here nor there...). Beach? Right there. Restaurants? Everywhere. Bangla Road (the infamous nightlife central)? A short stumble away (seriously, don't wear heels).
The downside? Noise. Oh, the noise. It's a constant hum of life. I'm talking motorbikes, construction (it's Phuket, after all!), and the general hubbub of a bustling beach town. Bring earplugs. Seriously, bring earplugs! And maybe a noise machine app. You'll thank me later.
The apartment itself – what's it *really* like? Is it clean? Does everything work?
Okay, this is where my inner control freak has to take a deep breath. Clean? Generally, yes. I'm a bit of a cleanliness snob, and I didn't find myself wanting to hurl bleach everywhere. However, let's just say it's not the Ritz. There might be a stray ant here and there. Embrace the imperfection, people! You're on a beach!
Does everything work? Again, mostly. The air conditioning? A lifesaver. The Wi-Fi? Okay, it had its moments. One day, I think the signal disappeared into the ocean. (Fine by me, I was reading by the pool anyway!) The hot water? Sporadic. But hey, that’s part of the adventure, right?!
What's the kitchen situation like? I like to cook (or at least, attempt to).
The kitchen is there. It exists. Fine, that's not very helpful, is it? It has the basics. A fridge, a stove, a few pots and pans. I managed to make a decent scrambled egg disaster one morning. Don't expect gourmet. Think "holiday basics." Honestly, with the sheer amount of amazing food available *outside* the apartment, you probably won't be doing much cooking. Do yourself a favour and eat all of the Pad Thai. Seriously. All of it. And the mango sticky rice. *Sob* I miss it.
What's the deal with the views? They look amazing in the photos... but reality, yeah?
Okay, this is the money shot. And the photo, as it turns out, actually *understates* the reality. I mean, the panoramic views are simply breath-taking. Sunsets? Prepare to weep. Seriously. I sobbed. Every single night. Partly from beauty, partly from the sheer volume of Chang beer I was consuming, but mostly from the overwhelming feeling of "This. Is. It."
The balcony? That's *your* private viewing platform. Mornings with coffee, evenings with a cocktail (or three), watching the world go by... yeah. It's worth it. Seriously, it's worth every slightly-too-loud motorbike, every occasionally-wonky tap. The view single-handedly makes this place a winner. I can almost smell the salt air and feel that glorious sun on my face just thinking about it. *Sigh*.
Is there a gym? A spa? What about laundry?
Alright, the gym situation. I am a *big* believer in the "holiday exercise guilt." There *is* a gym. I did *not* use it. (See previous comment about the swim-up bar.) But it’s there. The spa? Yes, nearby. Get a massage! Get multiple massages! They’re amazing and incredibly cheap. Laundry? You can either do it yourself (there's a laundry service in the building, or just drop it off at one of the many places scattered around. Super easy.
Okay, the staff... Are they helpful? Friendly? Do they speak English?
The staff are lovely. Generally helpful and friendly. English skills vary, but you'll manage. The reception desk is the first point of contact. They can help with tours, taxis, and general questions. Be patient, smile, and remember you're on vacation. (This is my mantra, by the way. It helps avoid the inner-Karen.)
What's the vibe like? Is it family-friendly? Party-central?
Both! There are definitely families. But it’s also a party zone, especially around the pool. It’s got a real mix of people. Kids, couples, groups of friends... It's loud, it's lively, and it's everything you expect of Patong. If you're looking for absolute tranquility, this might not be your spot. If you're looking for fun, sun, and a good time? You've come to the right place.
Is it worth the money?
Ah, the million-dollar question. Honestly? Yes. Considering the location, the two pools, THAT view… it's a good deal. You pay for convenience, basically. You're trading a perfect soundproof, immaculate hotel room for a more authentic (and sometimes slightly chaotic) experience. And for me, that trade-off is absolutely worth it.
