Cheney's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (Shocking!)
Cheney’s BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (Shocking!) - Honestly, It's a Rollercoaster
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unleash a truth bomb about the Holiday Inn Express in Cheney. "BEST?" Well, that's what the marketing folks want you to believe. But after my recent stay, let's just say it was… an experience. Prepare for a whirlwind of accessibility woes, Wi-Fi victories, and enough breakfast buffet observations to fill a novel. This is going to be messy. This is going to be honest. This is going to be about… Cheney.
First Impressions & The Accessibility Gauntlet:
Right off the bat, accessibility should be a priority, right? Well, it’s Cheney, so… let’s just say the ramps weren’t exactly Olympic-grade. The elevator was functional, thankfully. My wheelchair accessible room? It was there, but squeezing around the furniture felt tighter than my grandmother’s embrace. The facilities for disabled guests listed? Yeah, they're listed. Whether they're actually optimized? That's another story. I felt a pang of sadness for anyone relying heavily on assistive technology; navigating the layout felt like an obstacle course designed by a sadist who'd never seen a mobility scooter.
Internet - The Saving Grace (Mostly):
Thank the Wi-Fi gods! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and it actually worked! I’m talking reliable, consistent speed. Bonus points! The Internet access – wireless was a lifesaver because, you know, work beckons. The Internet [LAN] access? Well, did anyone actually use a physical network cable? Anyway, the Wi-Fi in public areas was also decent. I needed a break from the room to check emails, and it was good. I could have just relaxed on the terrace (that was present and looked pretty decent) while I was doing that, nice.
Cleanliness & Safety – A Mixed Bag:
Okay, let’s talk pandemic-era precautions. I’m a bit paranoid, frankly. I noticed, and was slightly relieved, that they use Anti-viral cleaning products. Daily disinfection in common areas. Individually-wrapped food options (a breakfast staple!). Staff? Staff trained in safety protocol, including hand sanitiser, they did a really good job. But… the room sanitization opt-out available gave me pause. Rooms sanitized between stays felt like a given, no? I mean, it's 2024! Sanitized kitchen and tableware items were a nice touch too. Then I got to the room. Hmmm… it didn’t smell clean clean, but it certainly wasn’t gross. Felt a little bit… rushed. I wouldn't have complained, but it was a good safety/security feature if there was an emergency in the bathroom, I guess. And I liked all the smoke alarms and the fire extinguisher. The CCTV in common areas were a bonus, I suppose.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Oh, the Breakfast…
The breakfast [buffet] was the biggest draw – and the biggest source of amusement. I’m talking Asian breakfast choices, Western breakfast. I spent more time observing people’s breakfast habits than eating the food. The coffee? Surprisingly decent, available in the coffee shop. The salad in restaurant? It was a salad. I grabbed a bottle of water. The snack bar wasn't as good as I liked. Now, there was a Happy hour (I wish I had the energy to attend!). But… the breakfast takeaway service, a nice service to have. I feel like I should be a vegetarian restaurant type, but I am not.
Rooms: The Good, The Okay, and The "Huh?"
My room was… okay. You could tell the air conditioning had seen better days. The blackout curtains were a godsend. I love those. The complimentary tea was a nice touch, and I appreciated the free bottled water, you know. Hair dryer did its job. The desk was functional enough for my laptop. The bed… it was a extra-long bed. However, the soundproofing was questionable; I could hear the thumping bass from some college party going on nearby. The bathroom phone? Yeah, that thing looks like it’s from the Stone Age. Towels are always nice. And that sofa was good.
Services and Conveniences – The Functional, The Forgotten:
Concierge? Non-existent. Cash withdrawal? Nope. Dry cleaning? I didn’t bother asking. Laundry service? Probably. Luggage storage? I think so. The business facilities were… there. the elevator and car park [free of charge] were a good touch. Daily housekeeping was, well, it was there. The air conditioning in public area felt a bit weak.
The "Things to do" Dilemma:
Cheney is, well, Cheney. Don't expect a bustling nightlife. Mostly it's meeting/banquet facilities and meeting stationery here. The Fitness center… I walked in, saw two treadmills, and walked right back out. The spa seemed non-existent. Pool with view? No. Sauna? No. Steamroom? Poolside bar? Nope. Babysitting service? Hmm, perhaps.
My Shocking Experience: The Breakfast Buffet Saga
The breakfast buffet… oh, the breakfast buffet. This is where the Happy hour could have been amazing! It was a microcosm of human experience. The chaos of the Asian breakfast. The careful selection of fruits and pastries. The bacon. Oh, the bacon! The real Happy hour of the whole experience! Every morning, there was a silent war waged around the waffle maker. One morning, a small child, fueled by sugar and ambition, managed to hog the station for a solid 10 minutes, much to the chagrin of a weary-looking college student in a hoodie. I mean, individually wrapped food options are a must, but there was still something… primal about it all. This is where the Staff trained in safety protocol really, really shone, because you know those surfaces are getting wiped down constantly. That was my highlight. The breakfast service was…serviceable.
The Verdict:
Is Cheney's Holiday Inn Express the "BEST"? Not exactly. It's a mixed bag, a symphony of compromises and unexpected cheeriness. The accessibility issues are a real problem. But the Wi-Fi is excellent, and the breakfast buffet offers a daily dose of sociological wonder. Would I stay again? Possibly. Especially if that waffle maker is free again.
SEO Optimized (Because We Must):
- Keywords: Holiday Inn Express Cheney, Cheney hotel, accessibility, free Wi-Fi, breakfast buffet, hotel review, Washington State, family-friendly hotel
- Meta Description: Honest review of the Holiday Inn Express in Cheney, Washington. Find out about accessibility, Wi-Fi, the breakfast buffet, and more! Is it the "BEST" hotel? Read on!
- Internal Links: (To other relevant articles on my site about travel, Washington State, etc.)
- External Links: (To the Holiday Inn Express website)
The "Shocking" Offer:
Tired of bland hotel stays? Craving a truly Cheney experience? Book your stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Cheney now and get a FREE voucher for the breakfast buffet AND a FREE small box of tissues (you'll understand). Use code "CHENEYCHAOS" to unlock your offer. But hurry, this offer is only available for the next… week. Because honestly, things in Cheney move fast.
Escape to Paradise: Kefaluka's Ultra All-Inclusive Turkish Luxury Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups. This ain't your grandma's perfectly-planned travel itinerary. This is my Cheney, Washington, Holiday Inn Express adventure. Get ready for the ride, because frankly, I barely know where we're going, much less how we're getting there.
Day 1: Arrival and the Initial Letdown (and a Surprise!)
- 1:00 PM - Arrive at Spokane International Airport (GEG): Ugh, airplanes. Honestly, I’d rather teleport. But hey, we gotta do what we gotta do. The baggage carousel is a nightmare labyrinth – I swear, my suitcase is playing hide-and-seek. Finally! Found it, and survived the airport rodeo!
- 1:30 PM - Rental Car Chaos: Okay, so, apparently, "compact SUV" in rental-car-speak translates to "slightly larger than a clown car." And the lady at the desk just knew she could upsell me on insurance. I swear, she was practically salivating. I declined, of course. I have a bank account. I am not a millionaire.
- 2:30 PM - Head for Cheney: The drive is… well, it's eastern Washington. Flat. Brown. Occasionally a cow drifts into view and stares at you as if to say, "You again?" The GPS takes a detour through some backroads, which meant a scenic route. Which meant I got lost. Twice.
- 3:30 PM - Check into Holiday Inn Express & Suites Cheney: Ah, bless the little angels. They're always angels here. The hotel…well, let's be honest, it's a Holiday Inn Express. You know the drill. Clean enough. Breakfast is probably the same, microwaved mush. But here's the kicker: the pool smells vaguely of chlorine and… desperation. But hey, it's a pool. It's warm. I'm in.
- 4:00 PM - Poolside Meltdown: Okay, so the pool is small. The water is… well, let's just say it's seen better days. But I'm there, I’m relaxed. I went ahead and made friends with a couple that was in the pool. They were also on vacation. The guy was complaining about the weather, and then as I was feeling the warmth of the water, I got to thinking. Maybe the weather isn't so bad after all.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner Disaster? (And Redemption!): Okay, I'm starving. Google promised me a fantastic local diner nearby. "Amazing burgers," it said. "Quirky atmosphere," it purred. What I got was a greasy spoon with a waitress who looked like she'd seen a few too many Mondays. The burger was… edible. The fries were soggy. But then, as I was sulking, the waitress noticed my frown. She slipped me an extra slice of pie. Apple pie. I thought to myself, "Hey, this is nice." And maybe the day wouldn't be so bad after all.
- 8:00 PM - Bedtime Story: The room is cozy, enough. The TV has enough channels. I would like to say I slept well, but I didn't. My thoughts kept me awake, anticipating the adventures to come.
Day 2: Eastern Washington Exploration (And Potential Existential Dread)
- 7:00 AM - Breakfast, the Breakfast of Champions (Maybe): Okay, here we go. The breakfast bar. The buffet of dubious decisions. I get a waffle. (Spoiler alert: It was okay.) Then I loaded up my plate with everything. Cereal, bread, eggs, sausage, and fruit.
- 8:00 AM - The "Real" Cheney: Time to explore! I felt like I was in a western movie. I drove around, went into a few stores, and found the vibe. It wasn't the life. It was just a moment away from everything. It felt like time stood still.
- 10:00 AM - The Wild West: I ended up driving around on the highway that led me here, and I saw all sorts of sights. I went to a couple of stores, and ended up trying on some cowboy boots. I didn't care for them.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch, Round 2!: Another diner. I got some food and went outside to eat it. I kept staring at the cars driving past. I wasn't even hungry, I just wanted to sit and think.
- 2:00 PM - Back at the Hotel: This is where I had to make a change. I wasn't feeling the vibes. I wanted to go home. I didn't want to do anything. I was too tired to do anything really.
- 4:00 PM - Poolside Take Two: I went for a swim, again. The other guests were getting on my nerves. I would just close my eyes, and swim through the water and feel all my troubles go away. When I came out of the pool, I felt good.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner: Dinner was the best. I went back to that diner, the same one where I tried the Apple Pie. I ordered a burger, fries, and of course, a slice of Apple Pie.
- 8:00 PM - The Bedtime Routine: I was tired. Tired of walking, tired of talking, tired of existing. But I still had the whole TV to myself.
Day 3: Departure (Relief and Sadness, a Bit of Both)
- 7:00 AM - Breakfast, Same Drill, Different Day: The waffle machine is my new best friend.
- 8:00 AM - Check Out! I checked out. Then I went back to my room. Haha, you thought I'd leave! I just couldn't, I needed to come back to that room and make sure I had everything.
- 9:00 AM - Drive Home!: My car. Empty roads. My music. The end of my trip.
- 10:00 AM - Goodbye, Cheney: I was on the road. Goodbye Cheney. Goodbye.
Post-Trip Ramblings:
Look, this trip wasn't perfect. There were moments of boredom, moments where I second-guessed everything, and moments where I just wanted to curl up in bed and eat pizza. But that's life, right? It's messy, and unpredictable. And hey, at least I got a slice of apple pie. And for me, that's a win. Maybe I will be back someday, but for now, I am headed back to reality.
Asakusa's Hidden Gem: The ESTABLISHMENT You NEED to Experience!
Cheney's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (Shocking!) AKA My Sanity Check
Okay, So… "BEST" Hotel in Cheney? Seriously?!
The Dreaded Check-In. Spill the Tea!
The Room Itself – What's the Vibe? (And the Smell!)
The Breakfast. Oh, the Breakfast. Tell Me Everything.
The Noise Levels? Did You Get Any Sleep?!
Amenities… Any Good Ones? A Pool? A Gym? ANYTHING?!
Overall Impressions? Would You Stay Again?
What's the "Best" Thing About the Hotel? (Be Honest!)
Any Red Flags? I Gotta Know!
Final Verdict – Is It Worth It?
